Far Away
by bex930
Summary: Set after S7. Faith gets out of jail and finds Buffy.
1. On the Road Again

{I own nothing. Joss owns all}

Spoilers: Through s5. But then again the AU deals with season 7.

AU: The whole blow-up-Sunnydale-and-activate-a-kajillion-slayers plot never happened, or else there wouldn't be a Sunnydale for Faith to get back to now would there?

Suspension of Beliefs: Faith gets out of a 1st degree murder charge after 7 years. I don't have the slightest idea if that's realistic or not.

Loosely based on the song "Far Away" by Nickelback

Introduction

I had been waiting for this for 7 years. Seven. Also the number of months I was a free slayer. Free to kick ass. Free to dust. Free to want, take and have whatever you liked. I hadn't dusted a vamp since I took a *_ahem*_ temporary leave of absence to defeat the big bad First Evil. And that had been more than three years ago. Damn, no H&H for that long'll drive a girl insane.

But I'm out, and I'm five by five, so no worries about that. I got out early for being a nice little criminal, and paying my debt to society, and all that junk they tell you while you wait. It's pathetic what I've become, really. I became the quiet, sticks-to-herself kinda girl just putting up with jackasses so I can get out. (But not too much bull. No, don't worry, I put a few girls in their place when they really pissed me off and got in my face. I never became anybody's bitch in there.)

I've only been here for five minutes, hiking down the dirt road with my bag and my trusty face-stomping boots, but I could already tell I was in another world. The world of fried food and booze and leather. _My_ kinda world. I had a thought appear in the back of my mind, a small reminder of why I was here, and not back in there. I was here to find her again. I was going to track her down and prove myself to her. I was heading back to good ole Sunny D, and there's no telling what's gonna happen once I find Buffy Summers.

I turned and looked back at my former life, with its brick walls and high fences. It pretty much sucked. To those of you thinking 'Oh, but it's a bed, and 3 meals a day', well, fuck you. I was there because I felt I should be, end of discussion. It could've been worse. I could have ended up dead. Buffy stabbed me pretty good and, being the stubborn jerk that I am, I didn't get the memo about dying and leaving her alone.

You know, that was the only thing I won't let her do to me. She can hate me, abuse me, stab me, hell, she can basically do whatever she wants to me, but I will not let her be right about me. I will not end up dead and alone and forgotten, a sad remainder of a sad life. Buffy said that to me, one of the times she visited. Even though she has since taken that comment back, it still stuck. She only saw me a couple times in jail, once before the First, and once after. Those two visits were pretty much as life altering as you can get, besides becoming a slayer and meeting Buffy.

Actually, those two meetings are why I'm here, believe it or not. I guess I can try to fill you in along the way as I head back to Sunnydale. There's not much else to do anyways, so I might as well. But, I can't even begin to describe those meetings in full detail. In true detail. Sure, I can retell what was said. I can give you all the details of the glaring, and the violence, and all the details a normal person would see observing us. But what really went on, I'm not so sure I can explain. But I'll try. Just for you, I'll try.

I turned myself in after I got outta my coma and went all psycho and tried to kill Angel. That much I hope you already knew. I was transferred to a country jail and was sentenced quite a while for killing Finch. Sucks, right? Turns out, I wouldn't have served it anyways because the council would get rid of me once Buffy eventually died. They wouldn't let the single slayer in the world sit idle in jail and not commence with the slayage, and they certainly don't want me free.

Anyways, there I was, alone in jail. No family to visit, no friends to care. Oh, except for Angel. Gotta love him. He took me under his wing, and he visited about every other week. That kept me going. I actually felt like I had a purpose when he came, and he had all sorts of redemption speeches prepared, oh, he was hilarious with those epic redemption speeches. He was the first true friend I'd had in a long time.

One day I had a different visitor. A little more than a year had gone by since I'd arrived. One o'clock in the afternoon on a sunny day is not the ideal day for a vampire visit, so I knew something was up. At first I thought something had happened to Angel, and I saw blondish hair and thought Cordy had come to say something. But it wasn't exactly Cordy. I'm pretty sure you can guess who it was.


	2. Four Step Program

Ch. Two: The Four Step Program

That's right. Buffy Summers. She decided to bring her cute little ass over to my jail and glare at me for a good 4 minutes before she completely tore my heart apart and left me stunned for days after. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Where was I?

I sat down. I could barely will my legs to not give in to my impulse to run. I was also caught off guard, and was in panic mode, switching my emotional walls from jail to Buffy. Those walls had to be five times stronger when in Buffy mode, because you never knew what was coming. So, running? Yeah, lookin' like a pretty good idea at the moment. But then I remembered the promise I had made to Angel. I promised, just days before, to not run from any of my fears. I promised to stay and face them, because that was the only way to become stronger.

I attempted to talk, tried to sound as monotone-y as possible, so she wouldn't see that I was freaking out inside. I mean, hello?! Surprise attack from the girl who was looking to do some serious business the last time she saw you isn't exactly a yoga class for your stress level. And also, interesting sidebar, surprise attack from the girl you also want to push up against the closest wall and have your way with (but never can) is, again, _not_ yoga class.

"Hey Buffy… What, what uhh, what are you doing…here?"

Whew. Step 1: Initiate the Vocal-ness without getting hit. Success!

Hey, just because there's a glass wall separating me and her, and we have to talk through phones does _not_ mean that she cannot somehow find a way to hit me. I thought Step 1 was a rather good one. Now, onto Step 2: Brace for impact. B was not looking like a happy camper in here. In fact, knowing she was going to see me probably put her in a bad mood for days before this. Yup, I'm that special. I have the privilege of messing up her life even though I'm long gone from it.

Buffy didn't speak. She just looked up at me, and those gorgeous green eyes froze my blood solid with the glare I got. I was expecting hatred from her, and anger. I thought since she was barred from beating me to a pulp (without causing _some_ suspicion from the guards), she would find a way to make me want to kill myself. After all, think of the hate Buffy could spew out at me. However, I was wrong. It wasn't anger that was in her eyes.

It was worse.

She was past anger. I didn't deserve to be hated by her anymore. I wasn't even worth enough to exist on the list of things she hated. I just got pity. Sad, disgusting, pity. I felt like she was looking at a dying animal, just waiting to be killed and put of its misery. It was the look that she gave something that needed to be put down, because it had lost it's purpose, and was taking up air. More specifically, taking up _her_ air. She started slowly shaking her head. It occurred to me that she might want a new slayer. That was maybe why she was here. She wanted a fresh slate. New blood to train. I guess she wasn't as patient as the council.

It was only after the pity stare had gone on for a half-minute (a half-eternity, more like) that she spoke. Her words came out in little spurts, as if she was having the trouble I had. I would personally take the look over her speech.

"Look at you. A slayer. Look at where you are, Faith. You're rotting away in a cell, in a place you sure as hell _can_ get out of, but you stay. What are you _doing_ here? Really, because if it's to prove something, to show that you're reforming yourself, to show that you aren't the weak, lonely, psychotic girl that you tried so hard not to be… don't. It won't prove anything. Especially not to me. "

Ouch. Buffy 1, Faith 0.

"You'd be better off dead, Faith. Think about it. You're stuck here, and you can't kill vampires. You can't slay. And we need another slayer right now, because we're up against a God. A real God. I _need_ help." Her voice seemed to soften, if only for an instant. "I need _you_, Faith." The hard tone in her voice reappeared instantly. "Or someone like you. Just another slayer's all I need. Doesn't matter who."

Double ouch. Better off dead? Well, I'm not feeling the idea of being all corpse-y today, tomorrow, or ever, thank you very much. It's strange, but prison has helped me. I'm not the weak, touchy, pathetic person I was before I got here. I don't mope and cry and break down if someone says some shit about me, or brings up a touchy subject. You can't do that in jail. You gotta learn to toughen up.

Truth be told, I was originally a real wuss. Anyone says one word about me not being perfect and I'd go all crazy with the tears and the breakdowns. Now I just get pissed off. And Buffy was not aware of this new fact. She was trying to hurt me by playing on my old weaknesses. Well, I'm not that stupid anymore, B. I can't be played as easily when it comes to you (and I take pride in that fact).

She continued. "Now, you have two options to choose from. You can off yourself, and let another slayer who _isn't_ crazy and useless pick up the slack, or you can bust your ass outta here and help us. Help me. Angel said you were looking for a little redemption, who knows why. I personally don't see the reasoning, because you're a lost cause. It's too late for you.

Step 3: Retaliate. My turn. "You bitch. I can't believe you actually came here and thought you could fuck with my mind and manipulate me into killing myself. You think I'm still worthless? What's wrong with you?" Pause for dramatic effect. "I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I _deserve_ to be here. I…"

Interrupted again. "No. You're a slayer. We're needed out in the real world. You shouldn't be in here when you're needed more out there. You need to learn that there's always exceptions to the rules, Faith. Always."

"Yeah, well, usually the exceptions are only made for you. No, not usually, _always_. For you. I'm just the piece of shit reject slayer that nobody wants unless the world is going to end. And even then, you'd take someone else, if only you had another girl. Has it ever occurred to you, Buffy, that I'm not in here because I need to become a better person, but that maybe, just maybe, I'm in here, because I need to get away from _you_."

She was momentarily surprised by my reaction. Yup, I definitely hit the nail on the head. Better chalk that up to Buffy 1, Faith 1. See? We both got tricks up our sleevies B.

Disappointingly, the shock didn't last long.

Her voice came out cold. "Fine, then. Just remember, Faith. We all will eventually end up alone and dead. That's part of life. But you, you get the privilege of being forgotten as well. Because _nobody's_ coming for you. Because _nobody_ really cares."

I couldn't form a response immediately. I was hurt, but I couldn't show it. "Ok, B. Whatever.… I'll just… stay, and…." I was drained. All of that anger and come and gone so quickly. The worst part was the last thing she had said. I couldn't believe she had said that to me. I had forgotten how harsh B is. The scary thing was that it was true. The thing in this world I'm most afraid of, is dying like she said. When it comes down to it, the dying part isn't what gets me. It's being forgotten. _Like you never even existed._

She needed to leave. I didn't think I would make it much longer through this. I'd rather be stabbed again. In fact, this was similar to being stabbed. "You're a horrible person, you know that? Coming here and wanting me to kill myself? What's wrong with you B? … Listen, I know you hate me. I know you'd beat me down every chance you get, but I never thought you'd stoop that low." I shook my head in disgust. This was all wrong. I was supposed to be cold and angry, and Buffy was supposed to be the concerned one. The helpful one. Not me. Definitely not me.

"I was ready to help you the first chance I got, Buffy. I was sitting in here, waiting for you to ask for me. Ask to have me back, even if was out of necessity. And my day came. Today. And you said you needed me. That's all I could ever ask for from you, after what's happened between us. If you had stopped just then, just at that point, I would've been sold. I would've been yours."

I took a deep breath, and was suddenly aware I was holding back tears. I pushed through them and continued. "But you didn't stop. And that's always been your mistake. You see, I don't care about the obligatory name-calling. I don't care about the comparison of the shining blonde slayer and the black sheep reject. That wouldn't have mattered, because I'd be back doing what I was supposed to be doing all along. Side by side with you, B. I wouldn't have had it any other way." I could've sworn at that moment that the tingly signal changed the tiniest bit at that, but maybe I was imagining it. "But not anymore. We're done._ I'm_ not helping you."

I looked up at Buffy. Her brow was furrowed, and she was frowning. Any other time, it would've been incredibly cute. Now wasn't the time to get distracted by Buffy's undeniable cuteness, especially when you need to be incredibly mad at her. I felt done, and I got up to leave, but something popped into my head I felt I needed to say. So I picked up the phone, and never took my eyes off of her the whole time. "I don't know why you need my help. You're the better slayer when it comes down to it, you know. You're a better leader, and a better fighter. I'm practically obsolete when compared to you."

The brow un-furrowed. I went down to a whisper, knowing my voice would surely crack if I kept going. "So that's why maybe I will kill myself. After all, since you're superior, you must also be right." I leaned foreword in my chair, and tried to sound cold as possible. "I hope the new girl will pop up in time for your big fight. Maybe after you win, you'll end up friends." My eyes watered. "But who knows, right? Maybe she'll wind up just like me after a while. And then I won't be alone anymore Buff…" I was starting to gasp for air, trying to fight off tears. I kept going. "And oh yeah, by the way, I'll _never_ be forgotten." I was beginning to cry. I had to end this, fast. "Because _you'll_ never forget me, B. Even if you somehow manage to live to 100, you will _always_ remember, because…" It didn't matter anymore. I might as well finally tell the truth. "Because I _loved_ you, Buffy." I gulped for air, and more tears came. "Always have." I was a wreck. "I just wanted you to know that." I shrugged and tried to smile, and got up to leave.

I turned my back, and thought for a second. It's done, it's over, you got up. Walk away. Move your legs and walk away from her. End it. I took a zombified step back to jail, and I heard a pound on the glass behind me. I slowly turned and saw Buffy's palm on the glass. Her other hand still clutched the phone. She yelled my name, and I could hear the sound come out my phone that I'd put down on the table.

"Faith!" She exhaled, and looked at me. "Don't." She shook her head. She looked concerned. "Don't." Her voice dropped so that I could only see her mouth the words, but I still understood. "I don't want a new girl." She kept shaking her head. "I want you." She pointed at me with her free hand, and tried to smile a little bit. "I want you. Don't." She kept smiling, trying to persuade me with it.

I was shocked. Once again, Buffy had left me speechless. So all I did was smile back at her through my tears. And nodded, agreeing.

She smiled even larger. And then, almost too quickly, she got up, and walked away from it all. Out the door. She was gone. The whole thing hadn't lasted more than three minutes.

I obviously didn't kill myself, because then I wouldn't have the marvelous opportunity to retell all of this to you. I just went back to my cell. It was actually a really boring conclusion. I just went back to my jail life, now thinking about the next visit I'd get from Buffy. Well, if she defeated that God she mentioned needing help with. I wasn't worried at all about her. Because-

Oh. I forgot to tell you Step 4. Actually, you can probably guess step 4.

Step 4: Buffy wins. In the end, Buffy always wins.


	3. A Little Too Subtle

Ch. 3: A Little Too Subtle

I lied. I didn't _just_ go back to my jail life. That visit had sparked something in me. Buffy had said some things, and I didn't remember them at first. For the first couple of days, I was overwhelmed by the fact that Buffy had seen me. She had seen me. Me! Faith! Wow. _Wow_.

But then, I slowly drifted back into the reality that was me, a cell, and more than a hundred other girls all waiting to show each other who's boss. I went over the conversation for the hundredth time at breakfast one morning, trying to figure out what made her visit me. Because it was certainly not for help. I don't care how bad it gets, Buffy wouldn't show up in person. She would be too busy for that. She would be too good to go and fetch me. She came to do something else. I could sense it in her movements.

-"…sure as hell _can_ get out of, but you stay…"-

That's right. I stay. I used to stay for _her_. To prove that I was going to change. But she ripped that idea apart.

-"It won't prove anything. Especially not to me."-

Now I'm here to get away from her. Truthfully, I really thought that she would be proud of me. Anyone could see that we weren't on the best terms, but I thought that for once she would be an actual person, with _feelings_. She would see that I wasn't balancing on the edge on purpose anymore. Buffy would finally have something click inside her, something that said 'Look, look at Faith. Look at the not-crazy Faith. See how she isn't whimpering and trying to hurt people? Do you see that jail has been good, Buffy?' There was nothing of the sort. She just saw the same old me, the same old smirk, the same old weaknesses. And so she was the same old Buffy. Drill Sergeant B. Summers.

-" You're a slayer."-

I went back to my cell defeated. Again. By Buffy Summers. Again. And… smiling about it? Definitely _not_ a repeat event. Something was different between us. Somewhere along the conversation, it all changed. The hostility dropped.

-"You shouldn't be in here…"-

Yes, I should. I don't have any other place that'll take me in. I want nothing other than to come back to the scoobs, have them welcome me back and see how I've changed, give me a second chance. Hell, a third chance, a fourth chance, whatever I can get. But I know it'll never go back to that. Never. I could live for ninety more years, and I'll never be accepted the same way. Because I hurt you. I get it. I was a failure. I rubbed everything in your face. I hurt your friends. I fucked things up bad. And I can't change what happened. You have to realize what is done is done. Move on, Buffy. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. So how strong do you think we are by now, B?

The thing about being a slayer, you notice things that aren't meant to be noted. Aren't meant to be seen. So when I say to you that we had an entire conversation separate from the verbal one, you might not get it. But we do.

I was smiling when I went back to the cell. I was smiling like such an idiot, a girl almost tried to beat the shit out of me. Truth is, I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face, even if that girl _had_ started that fight with me. Because it happened. Three words. And I bet my leather boots that you're guessing the wrong three. No, it wasn't my involuntary love confession. It wasn't Buffy telling me for the thousandth time that I was, in fact, a slayer. She was saying it like it was supposed to mean something, like the slayer package came with privileges other than the physical ones. It was more important than that. It was sacred, secret, locked away in Buffy's mind so that it would never come out. However, it did. It took bitterness and threats of death, but she meant it when she said it.

She said she wanted me. She said she _needed _me. Need, as in going-to-die-without-specified-object need. That's what changed. All the chips were on the table after that. I needed her. She needed me. Both of us now understood it. The important part was that nobody else knew. Nobody else could even sense it. It was something only we could have. We hated each other. We fought each other.

We understood each other. We knew the things that the other would go through. Nothing could compete with that.

But even after all that, I didn't know why she came. I thought it over for hours, and nothing. It didn't make sense. And for a few months or so, I thought I'd never get the chance to ask Buffy, because she died. A corpse. A limp, lifeless body was the only thing left of the powerful blonde slayer. But she couldn't die. She simply could not be dead. And, at the same time, I already knew it before Angel told me. She had died fighting the God. The God I knew, in my heart, she could handle.

I snapped after that. I had the strange idea that if Buffy's job was to control the outside world, to die for it, then my job was the control this inside world. I got in pretty deep with a gang, hurt a few people, and spent much of my time in isolation. There wasn't a Buffy anymore to stop me. As I look back on it, I just wanted to get myself killed before the council came to do the job. But that only lasted a couple months. Somehow, Buffy came back, good as new. I don't know how, but Red pulled some major mojo and got her back from the dead. It didn't matter; not only was I not going to die, but Buffy was alive and as well as a slayer can get.

A year after that, I escaped. I broke out, through the glass during a meeting with Red. She came to ask for my help, from dearest Buffy. See? I was totally right. Buffy _would_ be too busy to come and really ask for me. It's either that, or her tail is tucked behind her legs at the fact that she would have to go and practically say she isn't good enough, to the most sarcastic, smirking girl she knows. A few years before, I'd have held it over her head for months after. I had changed since then. I knew she seriously needed help. It's funny though, how I take her S.O.S. less seriously if she's the one doing the asking.

Sadly, nothing happened between us when I went back to Sunnydale. It was strictly business. She was pulling some crazy stunt and having all the potential slayers gang up and fight the First Evil. I couldn't get her alone for more than ten seconds at a time, with all the 16-year-olds scampering around, worried about who knows what. It was a big let down for me. I thought Buffy wanted my help. As in, _only_ my help. Turns out, she needed any kind of help.

-"Just another slayer's all I need. Doesn't matter who."-

I got her alone just once. The penultimate night before the big battle. I said that we needed to talk. She was about to speak, about to actually say something important, when a girl busted in and ruined the moment with some sleeping arrangement crisis. That was that. We defeated the First, and I went back to my cell. I was originally in a lot of trouble, but Angel somehow got himself some heavy connections with a demonic law firm, and he fixed my record so I never left.

And there I waited. For another chance. For a new start. For Buffy Summers, and I wasn't even sure if she would come. She could have totally missed the subtle hints I dropped, discreetly asking for a visit. I had no idea how she was. It sucked because I couldn't ask Angel anymore. I guess he was really busy fighting extra-large masses of evil now the he was a badass lawyer. All he said was that he would try to be there when he could. So I was alone for a couple months. I began to think whatever understanding I thought me and Buffy had was just a hallucination. I just made it up, to cope with all the shit she was throwing at me. I was getting more nervous with every day she didn't visit.

I began to sink back into the blur of jail. Sleep, meal, shower, workout, meal, workout, meal, sleep. Rinse and repeat. Days went by that I hardly noticed anything. I had almost given up. Buffy was just about gone from me forever. There would be no umpteenth chance for me. I was too stupid to say anything about where we stood when I was out. That was the last chance I will get. Just sink back into oblivion, Faith.

-"_Nobody's_ coming for you."-

Two months. Three months. What made you think anything was different? She still hates you, Faith. Signals? Tinglies? Bullshit. She _ignored_ them, all of them. You're alone now, kiddo. Don't think about her anymore. The blonde hair, the adorable laugh, the perfectly tanned body… forget about it. _All_ of it.

I had been trying to forget her ever since I came here. Since day 1. My idea was if I didn't think about her, if I didn't see her, then it wouldn't hurt so much inside when I knew I could never have her. The trouble in forgetting; some part of me still clung to the idea that I could someday be with her. That she would find me in the end. She might come to me beaten and old, but I'd still take her. I fought that part of me day and night, consciously and unconsciously. It was my civil war. Over time, I began to beat that part. I had to tell myself that she had changed, that she was a completely different person. Maybe she had a great boyfriend. She could've been happy. Happy without me. That was the hardest part. I would get furious about it. Buffy could move on and change her life, but I couldn't. She had distractions, and I had jack shit. I was stuck here, and there was no real future for me.

And then, a year after the First, I got a visit. They called me down, and I knew something wasn't right. Angel had just visited a few days before. He had brought news with him that Buffy had gone missing. Red's locator spell wasn't reaching her, and they were getting concerned. I thought he was coming to give me a grim update. They had given up. They found her. Dead. Gone. A thousand thoughts ran through my head about what condition Buffy could be in.

I walked by a window and I knew it wasn't going to be Angel. One in the afternoon, in mid-June on a cloudless day was not the best time for a vamp to bask in the breeze. I stopped walking. Suddenly my mouth grew very dry. My heart started pumping blood so loud that I could hear it and feel it in my head. My stomach dropped a couple feet and started gurgling. Could it be her? Could she be here, seeing me? _Wanting_ to see me? Finally? Was Buffy Summers here to pay me a visit?

No. I pushed the thought of her being here out of my mind. She wasn't in the other room. She wasn't here. She moved on, remember? Boyfriend, scoobies, great life? She forgot you, Faith. It's not her. Get a grip. I resumed my walk towards the visiting room. It isn't her... She's not here... It isn't her… I turned the corner.

Oh.

It's her.


	4. Guess Who's Back? Back Again?

Ch. 4: Guess Who's Back? Back Again?

What…?

Who?

Wait…

Buffy?

Buffy.

She had come back. She stood alert and ready, next to the very chair her cute ass had occupied only a few years before. A grin began inside of me. Inwardly, I was smirking, showing all the teeth that I could. My heart was pumping, full speed ahead. This was it, and I was ready. The final showdown between the black sheep and the golden hero was beginning. Buffy didn't know what she was in for. She was going down today. My grin burst out from inside me, and there I sat, a wide grin plastered to my face like Jack Skellington in Christmastown.

Buffy's shoulders were hunched and she was peering down at the floor at nothing in particular. She seemed smaller than I had remembered. Weaker. A flicker of a thought passed through my racing mind, but then it was gone. It had been important, too. Then Buffy began to raise her eyes up towards my general direction, and everything I had been thinking seemed to be sucked into a black hole, and I was frozen, staring in anticipation at the green eyes that never failed to rip my heart out and throw it into a place with lots of sharp and pointy destructive objects.

She studied my arm, and then my waist, and chest, (and if I didn't know better, I would've said her eyes *ahem* lingered a bit too long there) and she slowly made her way up until she reached my eyes. That's when all hell practically broke loose. Buffy's eyes were… well, not broken, but there was something wrong. She was missing something. Then the thought that had been rudely kicked out seconds ago bounced back into my mind. There wasn't any fire in her eyes. Her brows were slightly furrowed, and her mouth was forming words with no sound coming out. My grin was wiped right off my face. The girl in front of me was not drill sergeant Buffy anymore. She was just a girl. Just a girl, with her defenses all the way down.

I couldn't do it. Not anymore. That's it. I was going to bash her; I was going to make her feel how I felt all those times when she kicked me while I was down. I couldn't go through with it. I simply didn't have the ability to be cruel to Buffy. That's why she always won. Always. Everything seemed to dawn on me at once, like one massive epiphany.

I can see it now though, how I _was_ really the weaker slayer. You see, it never mattered who drew blood first. It didn't matter back in high school, it doesn't now, and it never will. Tension would escalate between us sure enough, with each party doing their share of fueling the fire. We would each say and do some nasty things to the other. But there was a huge difference between us that I never bothered to notice. I would try to fuck with Buffy's life pretty bad, I admit. In the end, Buffy was always safe. I never went through fully with _any_ of my plans. They never worked out because I _couldn't do it_. I couldn't take that final step of finishing the job. I wasn't able to hurt her beyond repair.

But she could. And she had no trouble hunting me down, time after time, with full intentions of getting rid of me. She shoved her emotions back down, and came at me like a robot. No, not like a robot. Like a demon.

I was more human. She was more demon.

So there I sat, in partial shock, with a look of concern on my face. I had never seen Buffy without her walls up for… uh… well, since the month I met her. What could be wrong so that she comes here, to me? She had friends, and an adopted family that loved her. The Scooby gang had relocated all the way in _Cleveland _for Christ's sake. Why'd she come _here_? Well, yeah, I mean, hello, for me… but still, Buffy never seemed too keen on spontaneous cross-country road trips to visit enemies.

Another thought struck me. Maybe I wasn't an enemy anymore. After all, she _didn't_ try and stab me when I helped with defeating the First. So maybe now, my category isn't 'enemy'. But it certainly wasn't an ally. I was just another shade of grey in her complicated life. Still, what was going on?

I heard my name, and switched all attention to the girl sitting across from me. Her words came out slow and tangled, and she sounded very far away. "Faith… Faith you have t--… to come…" She cleared her throat. "…with me…"

Ummm… what? Me? Is the world ending _again_ or something? Am I going crazy? I must be crazy. Crazy Faith.

She kept on going, spattering words out in broken fragments, her hands running through her hair and over her face. "Because I— I need…"

Me? You need Faith? I'm Faith! Ooh! Pick Me! You need me, remember?!

"…I need someone…"

Oh. Again with the 'someone'. Great. My hopes were smashed again.

"To drive me to… Sssssunnnnydaaaalllee."

The last word took at least four or five seconds to get out. I began to get the feeling that she was making nice with the alcohol, and lots of it. "Buffy… are you, ummm… drunk?"

She looked confused for a second, and she raised an eyebrow. Then she finally got what I said. "Oh! No, no-no-no." She paused. Her hands went back to her face and hair. "I just need you to drive me back… back home."

Ohhhkaayyyy. This is really, really…weird. Yeah. "Buffy, where are… well, where's home?" I didn't know if she meant Sunnydale like she had said, or Cleveland, which is probably where she belonged. "And also, where's everyone else?"

Again the confused look. Way too much with the alcohol.

"Red—umm, Willow? And Xander? And Dawnie? Where are they?" I had to annunciate every syllable, and speak very slowly. I've had lots of practice with drunk people, and they don't do well when you make with the fast talk.

"Ohhh…Oh." I think I just got through to her. "They're back…" She gestured with her head to behind her.

I shifted and looked where she nodded. "In the car?"

"No… Cleveland" She shook her head with 'No' and then nodded with 'Cleveland'.

"So, you want me," I pointed at myself. "to drive you," Pointed at her. "to… Sunnydale?...aaannddd…" Her head was rolling from side to side again. I was so excited she was here, don't get me wrong. I had so much excitement I'm surprised I wasn't bouncing up and down in my chair at that point. But _c'mon _Buffy. It'd be sooo much more fun to see you drunk when I can play pranks on you or make you look like an idiot. But it's frustrating, to have the only visit from you in years to be when you're not even mentally here.

Ooh. Ding! A light bulb appeared above my head. "Buffy," She looked up and made eye contact. I shuddered. Her eyes were piercing. "how'd you get here? Didn't you drive?"

"Well, yeah." She stopped rolling her head, and snapped back into reality.

"So don't you have a car?" I was kicking myself very hard for giving her an idea that would make her leave. I didn't want her to leave at all. I'd take any type of Buffy over no Buffy, regardless of what I might say sometimes.

"I sorta…" She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. "I sorta crashed it." That last part was _very_ quiet. "And I hit my head. I can't concentrate." She grinned at me. "I also can't drive very well."

Oh. I let out a small chuckle, and grinned back at her. Then I shook my head. "Oh. What am I gonna do with you?" Upside to Buffy hitting her head and suffering from crazy-person-syndrome? No hostility. Maybe she forgot she doesn't like me. Ooh! _Maybe…_ maybe she thinks we're still in high school and she forgot she ever hated me! This meeting was for sure the polar opposite from last time she visited. It didn't surprise me in the least that Buffy crashed her car. Actually, I'm extremely impressed she made it so close without killing herself by steering into an eighteen-wheeler. If I had to put money on it, she wouldn't have made it out of the state.

I was disappointed though, that she only was here because she had no other options. She was barely a couple hours away from Sunny-D, if that.

I would've loved to drive her (in this fantasy I'll overlook the fact that we have no car). There'd be no words for the smile I'd have. Not a grin, not a smirk, not even some sarcastic look that I'm known for. A genuine smile would be stuck to my face. I'd be out of here. I'd be free. And it'd just be me and Buffy. No looming threat of apocalyptic terror, no big bag out to rule to earth, just me, her…. and a town-load of undead bloodsuckers. I had to hold back an even bigger smile, because a rush of nostalgia flooded me. It would be like before anything bad happened. Before anyone got hurt badly, before everyone's trust had been broken and re-broken. Back when they accepted me, just as much as Buffy.

The things I missed most from earlier on were the night-patrols. Just me and B, running through the numerous cemeteries, jumping and weaving to catch the vampires that knew what was coming. I don't believe in destiny, but hell, anyone could see that me and Buffy were meant to fight side by side. Back to back, against anything and everything. And hunting vampires, well, that's our specialty. Nothing like it.

You know when vampires sometimes boast and act all scary, by commenting on 'fear making blood taste better?' Well, I understand it. Chasing after a vampire, _gaining ground_ on a vampire, there's no human feeling like it. The hungries and hornies, they're just minimal aftereffects to the chase. It's more than an adrenaline rush, out there. It's more than a high off of something. It's knowing the vampire is afraid. You can feel it. They _know_ they're gettin' it. And you're in control. You have _all_ the control. Their fear makes you hunt them faster.

Whoa. Take a step back out of your mind there, Faith. I miss vamps. I knew that. But I hadn't realized I missed them _that _much. It's been a loooong time. Driving a stake through their ribs and into their heart, and watching them explode into a puff and then drift away in the wind is almost as satisfying as the chase. Or, coincidentally, if it's an un-breezy type of night, you can just watch them fall into a neat little pile of dust at your feet. It's still rewarding, whichever scenario you go for.

I could feel eyes on me. I drifted back into reality. Buffy was staring at me. I had spaced out on all that vampire-ness, I guess. "Sorry 'bout that. Just… thinking."

She give a shy smile. "That's…that's OK, Faith." She glanced down and continued smiling.

Things were calm. No hostility. I was practically holding my breath. Any second now she could unleash all seven levels of hell on me. I decided to be a smart-ass regardless. "So, B… did you crash your car because you're a horrible driver, or because you're drunk? 'Cause drunk people don't do well with cars and _you_ as a sober person doesn't do well with cars and…"

She looked the slightest bit appalled. "Faith, I'm not drunk."

"Oh." I tried to chuckle. "Well, you could've fooled me."

Bad, baaaaaddd thing to say. Now she was offended. Ok, so this is my fault, fine. I asked for it. I pushed the boundaries and accidentally stepped over the line. She raised an eyebrow. It immediately said to me 'not amused'. I guess we still weren't on friendly enough terms to make fun of each other. Or at least, I wasn't allowed to make fun of her.

"Faith, I came here to talk to you."

Oh. _Oh. _Ok, I'm listening.

"But you _obviously_, _still,_ don't want to talk about anything serious, so I'll go. Because I had things to say, Faith. They were important. You think I'd bail on everyone in Cleveland and not tell anyone where I was going, just so I could get some lonely prisoner making fun of my driving skills?" She looked at me, and waited for a response. As she started to turn to leave, I made the best and worst comment I had _ever made_ to _anyone_ in my life.

It was under my breath. "Well, your driving _is_ epic-ly _bad…" _I probably should've taken slayer hearing into account, but it was already too late.


	5. A Long Wait Worth Waiting For

Ch. 5: A Long Wait Worth Waiting For

To those who have listened to me ramble thus far: we all know not to anger the Buffy-monster, right?

Right.

But me, being my ignorant self, decided to awaken the Buffy-monster. And I know exactly why, too. I can't really help it. Being in front of Buffy, or being in the same general area as Buffy, does things to me. I mess up, and I certainly misspeak. My good intentions, if any, go down the drain, and in a general way I make myself look like a jackass. Every time.

Nobody should be surprised. You were all there when I told you about my love confession during the first visit, were you not? I really do love her. As much as someone can love another person after they've stabbed you, fought you, and kicked you when you were down.

As much as someone can love another person when you know they don't love you back.

I'd come to terms with it. I'd accepted it, and it was going away. I still thought about her more than once a day, and that's because I really had nothing else to do. But it was getting easier. Then you-know-who shows up and takes everything I had been working on, and throws it in the blender. And then maybe she throws it out into the street to get run over. By an eighteen-wheeler.

She had things to say, you know. They were 'important'. She _had_ come here for me. It was hard to process everything at once. It took some waiting, but she was here. All of a sudden, she was leaving again because of me. I hated that pattern, but it never failed. She was going, going. But not quite gone. If she left _this_ time, if_ I_ let her leave, there was no doubt in my mind I'd be dead by the time she came back for a third visit.

If there was ever a perfect example of fury, it was Buffy's face as she stormed back towards me. Her legs moved so fast I thought she floated back to the chair. It made a loud screeching sound as she dragged it around and sat in it. It wouldn't have been surprising if the phone had snapped into two pieces, Buffy was gripping it so tightly. The fire flared up in her eyes like nothing was ever wrong.

Every word gritted out was hostile. "I crashed the car, coming to see you. And I hit my head pretty bad, so I was dizzy when I came here. I should've known; you never fail to show absolutely no mercy."

Wait. What? _Me_ no mercy?

"I _know _I'm not a good driver, Faith. But I wanted to be here _alone_. I didn't want them to know where I was going, either." She looked left and right to make sure nobody could hear. As if anyone would actually care enough to listen in on our conversation. "Do you know _why_ I crashed that car? Specifically?" I got a look from her as to say if I made even a peep, if I even began a sentence, no matter if it was sarcastic or serious, she would punch the glass into pieces at come at me.

So I raised my eyebrows as a signal for her to continue. "Because I was thinking about what I was going to say to _you_." She paused.

I was outraged. "So you're blaming your fucking car accident on _m-_"

"FAITH! No!" She screamed my name, and pounded on the glass. I guess I wasn't supposed to talk. It was Buffy's turn. "I came here to talk to you, because I'm going back! I'm going back to Sunnydale! I'm done in Cleveland!" Her voice dropped a tiny bit. "I don't need any high tech gadgets that Xander wants me to use, I don't want tracking spells and lures from Willow, I don't want Dawnie tagging along!" Her voice continued to loose volume, and she clenched her teeth in-between sentences. "And I figured I'd be nice, and be relatively peaceful, and let you know I'm back in your general area."

There was a long silence. My anger had come and gone. There wasn't much to say unless we wanted to begin fighting for the umpteenth time. "Well thanks." I glanced down. "I guess that's… that's good to know." I nodded a couple times.

"Yeah. Yeah that's good. You're welcome for the saying thanks." She bit her top lip and glanced around.

More silence. But it wasn't uncomfortable.

"…Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you _really_ come here?"

Cornered. Buffy looked around once more. She put her hands in front of her face, palm to palm, and exhaled. She crossed her legs, and then switched them. She managed to itch every part of her face, from neck to ear.

I kept leaning closer and closer to the glass. She was such a bad staller. Finally I learned so close the glass that I tapped it with the phone. Buffy jumped, as if she forgot I was there. She looked at me, and I raised my eyebrows.

"Okay okay fine." She took a big breath and then exhaled her words extremely fast. "Remember what you said about me last time?"

At first I had no idea what she could be mentioning. I was about to say no, but then my voice popped into my head, replaying what was said during visit numero uno. About the me, with the loving her… remember? Oh yes. My stomach lurched and fell about a foot from where it was supposed to be. I felt like I could suck my stomach in and touch my belly button to my spine. Nothing was there. My internal organs had mysteriously vanished. I knew _exactly_ what she was talking about. But I wanted _her_ to say it.

My heart was pounding. "No. What'd I say?" That came out in a nice monotone. (Please take note of that, I'll accept my congratulations later.)

Buffy sighed. She _knew_ I knew what she was talking about. I gave a slight smirk, and then we glared at each other, neither one wanting to give in to the other.

She took a few deep breaths. "…You said that you loved me."

There we go. That wasn't so bad now was it B? "Yeah. Yeah I did."

More breathing. Then the bomb was dropped. "Do you still?" At that moment we made eye contact again. I was going to vomit I felt so much emotion at that point. My mouth opened slightly from shock. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and re-opened them.

"Why d-…why's that matter?" I started fidgeting. I found I couldn't sit still. I needed to walk. We needed to walk and talk. Not just sitting. The chair became scratchy and hot, and the phone became shiny and filthy. I found myself looking everywhere but at her. My peripheral vision didn't go past her blonde hair.

I saw her hands cover her face once more. She leaned foreword and pressed her elbows into the table. "Faith. I… I…"

Whatever was left of my organs, well, they were all gone by that point along with all my bones and muscles. I sat there, like jelly, unable to move in the chair. Was she _really_ going to say what I think she's saying? Was she? After all that time, all the bitter memories and pain, was she? More importantly _did_ she? Did Buffy Summers love me back?

"I need you back, Faith." She nodded once to convince herself. "I want you to come with me to Sunnydale. She exhaled deeply, letting this off her chest. I was absolutely crushed. I had thought she was going to say it. For a moment, I thought everything was going to end up the way I'd wanted. How could I have been so stupid?! She'll never love you, Faith. She _can't_ love you. But wait a sec…

"Then why'd you mention what I said? What's that got to do with me going to Sunnydale with you? That's not relevant, B."

Her head slowly looked up. She studied me for a few seconds, and her face became blank. She straightened up in the chair, and glanced down at the table, the receiver attached to her hand. Her voice was fatigued, and she took deep breaths every few words. "Faith… I have tried _so hard _to figure out what to do. I waited, and waited, and there wasn't a solution." She glanced at me. "It's been five years, Faith." Her mouth curved downwards. "Do you ever wonder what we'd be like, if things hadn't spiraled out of control? Do you ever wonder if we'd still be friends?"

"…Every day." I couldn't bare to look at her.

"You can't ever change what happened between us, Faith. You can't rewrite the past, and some things can _never _be forgotten." I had to look at her. My eyes had a will of their own. They locked on to hers. "…Do you regret what happened between us? If you could go back, would you change things?"

"Yeah. In a second."

"No."

No? What did she mean, 'No.'? I frowned. I would change so many things about my life.

"I realized a few things the other day. I had to come see you, because you're the only person I can relate to. You gotta remember, there's no one else like us Faith. We're the chosen two."

The chosen two. Yeah, we were. But still, why me?

"I realized, in the course of my life, or at least when I was a slayer, that you're the only person who's ever stood up to me when you disagreed. You didn't do what I said, just because I said it. You didn't follow my commands like they were the law. Everyone else just rolls over. Sure, they may have an opinion, but I realized that my rule goes. Always. Faith, you… I don't really know why, but I feel like nobody else would understand this. We lost the mission, Faith. All of us. Me, you, Giles, _Angel._ It's all just paperwork and backup plans now. We've turned into some organization that is trying to save the world from _everything_. I just want to slay demons. I… I realized that all I want to do for the rest of my life is live in Sunnydale, dusting vamps. I would be _so_ happy just doing that. Do you ever feel that way, ever?"

I stared her down. "I know _exactly_ what you mean Buffy. Because that's all we were ever meant to do." I smiled at her. I really did, with all my heart, I smiled at Buffy. And you know what? She smiled back. For that moment, I wished that the world would stop. I wished that moment would never end, because that was the first time since high school we've shared something.

"Come _with_ me." Her eyes lit up. "We'll go to Sunnydale, we can! We'll do what we said, right? Slay vamps. That's it!" She looked like a little kid. She leaned in and whispered to me. "You can break out of here, right? I mean, the glass…" She gestured to it. "Faith, let's get outta here."

There it was. I'd been waiting for that. You have no idea how happy I was to hear that. I was _so_ incredibly happy at that point. I was going to be with Buffy again. For real. Not as enemies, not as friends, but as two _slayers_. And then I remembered something I had said, something I had promised, a long time ago. My heart sank. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave with her.

I barely spoke above a whisper. "No Buffy… not this time." My eyes started filling up with tears. "I have to stay here." My voice began to tremble. I saw Buffy sink in her chair. "I'm not running anymore. I made a promise, not to run away." I tried to keep talking without squeaking. "I can't. I can't go."

Buffy's giddiness had disappeared as fast as it had came. She looked hurt. Her expression made me want to cry harder. I had hurt her _again_. She straightened up. "I'll wait for you." She nodded once to make sure. "I'll wait until you come out. I'll go to Sunnydale, and I'll wait until you're free." She paused and thought for a sec. "How long will that _take_?"

"I don't know, Buf." A tear came down my face; I ignored it. I swallowed, but my mouth was dry. I _had_ to say it. I was kicking myself for doing it, but it had to be done. "But you can't wait for me. I could be in here, for ten, twenty years. I can't have you expecting me, when _I_ don't even know if I'll be there." I regained control of my voice for a moment. "Buffy, I want to be with you. But I also want you to be happy. And right now… right now, those two things aren't the same. I…" I was losing it again. I clenched my body so I could hold back the crying. "I want you to go. Go to Sunnydale. Be happy there. Slay the vampires. Do it old school. Use Mr. Pointy if you really wanna! Just…"

I had been avoiding eye contact throughout the whole thing. I saw her, and my jaw trembled.

She was crying. _Buffy_ was crying. Sitting there, in all her glory, _crying._ I couldn't say anything else. I was done.

I sat there with my arms crossed, just trying to make sure I'd remember this entire visit, so that in five years I could look back and keep myself going. Buffy hadn't sopped fidgeting. She ran her hands through her hair. She rested her face in her hand, on her fist, she looked left, and then right. Still crying. She looked up at me through her watery eyes, and smiled. She sniffed her nose and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her hands rested together in front of her face, blocked her nose. Sniffled some more, and then picked up the phone one last time.

"Faith…"

I slightly raised an eyebrow.

"I think I love you." She smiled even bigger.

I blinked a couple times. That had left me in complete shock. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I just sat there, while Buffy placed the phone on the hook, and got up. She sniffled, smiled at me, and turned to leave.

All I could do was sit there and hope my heart was still beating.

She had reached the door when I came back to reality.

"BUFFY! Wait!" I was going with her. Angel would have to understand why I broke the promise. If he heard what Buffy said, he'd be doing the exact same thing. In seconds everything had changed. I took the receiver and smashed the glass to pieces in one swing, and hacked the phone downwards to get the extra glass out of the way. Forgive me for not thinking my plan through at that point, because the security guards came running at me. I had no time to loose. Fighting off two guards was easy enough, but I had to move fast; any more than five and I was done for. I shoved the chair out of the way and began to climb through the window. A quick glance and I surveyed three guards. Move, Faith.

A sudden pain came burning through my hand. I looked down and it had been cut by a long shard of glass. I stopped to observe the quick moment when my hand was blood-free. Blood began leaking out of the gash in my palm in slow motion. An arm clamped down on my shoulder. The first guard. I shrugged her off and hopped up onto the table. One leg through, one arm, my shoulder, my torso… another pair of hands gripped my remaining leg and ankle and yanked. I lost balance and fell directly onto the broken glass. Sharp pains instantly appeared in my stomach and shoulder. I began sliding backwards as the guard reeled me in. I lashed out a hand and gripped the table on the other side of the glass. I felt another pair of hands latch onto me, onto my waist. They were winning.

I looked up at Buffy during the commotion. She was frozen, watching in horror and awe. But she wouldn't help. She couldn't. It was me vs. them. She took a step back from the chaos, her gaze still on me. There were too many cuts, too many wounds. The more I fought the guards pulling, the more I cut myself up from the glass I had fallen on. I had to let go from the table. I was in the middle of a tug-of-war, and I couldn't win at this point.

"Buffyyyy!!!!!" I let go of the table and went flying backwards. "Buf- rgh, No! Buffy!" They were dragging me back, four of them, no, five of them dragging my flailing, screaming body away from Buffy. They couldn't do that. Not without giving them everything I got _first_. I kicked a guard holding my leg and he dropped me, considering it's hard to hold onto something, when your arm is shattered from a slayer's kick. I used the momentum to and to do the same to another guard, but I was hit in the back with a baton. I used my free leg to do a circular kick, hitting the guard that had caused the most recent pain. I was still losing; I became desperate.

"Buffy!! I'll find you!" I screamed with all the strength I had left. "I'll go back for you! Buffy! I'll get out!" They were closing the door. I could only see part of her now. I made one last attempt, but they had won. A guard raised his arm to knock me out with the baton. One last scream and she'd be gone. "Buffy! I lo--" The baton came down on my head. Everything immediately blurred. I couldn't feel much anymore. My strength was zapped from me. The last thing I saw before I passed out was the door slamming shut, closing me off from Buffy. When I woke up hours later in confinement, she was long gone.


	6. Finish What You Started

**So sorry about the extremely long wait. I thought I had put this one up! Well, here's the final chapter:**

Ch. 6: Finish What You Started

Even weeks later, I hadn't fully believed what Buffy had said. Love? Me? From Buffy? Like on a present? To Faith, love Buffy? Right? I didn't know how to react, even though it was really a dream come true for me. I had decided a long time ago to keep my feelings for Buffy in check. _Either get rid of them, or they'll get rid of you. _I had to tell myself that every day I saw her back in high school. And this, _this?_ _Love?_ She didn't love me. I knew that. She couldn't possibly love me. We had only met thrice in the past four years. Two were with me in jail. Maybe she _thought_ she loved me.

No. It was real. It happened. Stop lying to yourself. You have the scars from the scabs you picked after they took the glass out. _Everything_ was real. You should be happy.

Happy. Yeah, I'll be happy. It was harder than I thought though; after five years of fearing Buffy, five years of hostility, the visit seemed like a trick. At first, I couldn't accept it without _any_ suspicion. Over time, Sunnydale became the only thing I had, to try for. As for why I didn't break out; too easy. Too simple. It was the short way out. I would be cheating, and I'd never feel free, not for the rest of my life. I had to _earn_ freedom. I had to _earn_ Buffy. So I waited, day after day, week after week, biding my time, aspiring for parole.

It really wasn't as easy as I made that sound. The combination of my personality and jail didn't mix well; multiple times I was one wrong move away from not seeing Buffy until I had my 75th birthday. The scars were the only thing that kept me focused. Glass and steel. Both associated with her. Every fight I almost had, every rough patch, I felt the blade running into my stomach, and I felt the glass tearing my skin apart. Buffy was out there, waiting for me alive and happy, and when the time came, I _would _find her.

I waited. It was all I could do. But Buffy never came back. I didn't expect her to.

I never heard anything from her. The only thing I knew was that she wasn't dead; Angel promised to tell me if anything like that happened. I never told him, but I think he knew. He was sneaky like that. To make a boring story un-boring-y, I was released after two years; all that goodie-goodie shit paid off. And I guess that's where we first started off, huh? Well, I been walking towards Sunny all that time. Now it's dark out, but I can finally see the familiar row and rows of graves that I had become accustomed to back in the day. Whatever day that was. Maybe a Wednesday. Who knows? Any other day, in a heartbeat I'd be out fighting any vamps I could catch. Which would of course be all of them. I am so in-shape from all that time I exercised in prison, boy, _the first_ would be lucky if he could outrun me.

But not tonight. No, tonight I had other plans. Blonde plans. Buffy Summers plans. I wouldn't trade what I was doing for all the cheesy-poofs in the would right now ('cause they don't sell 'em in jail, and dammit, I want some cheesy-poofs). I stopped walking for a second and figured out were I was. My legs had subconsciously taken me to a house. _Her_ house. My heart pounded in my chest. The house was the same as I remembered. Maybe a couple new windows or front door due to demon fighting, but Summers still lived here.

I saw that the lights were all turned off. Hmmm. I glanced at my watch and saw the time. Only 9:00. I would've seen Buffy if she was out patrolling, and, come to think of it, I'm not getting any tinglies from the house. She must be out with the gang. If there even still _is_ a gang…

I sat on the curb and thought about crazy scenarios of the scoobs dispersing, with Dawnie off in college, Xander actually moving out of his parent's house and into a crazy ass house _he_ constructed. And Willow doing magic shows in Las Vegas, with _real_ magic. They probably weren't here much anymore, and that made me a bit sad. They didn't like _me_, sure, but they were Buffy's family. And Buffy is was always going to feel lonely anyway, just because of who she was, but it must've been tough once everyone moved on. Buffy _chose_ to come back here. I _chose_ to come back here.

No, the scoobs weren't off living fantasies. Dawn is probably in college, sure, but my guess is UC Sunnydale, where Buffy can keep her close. Wherever Buffy goes, the pack usually follows. And you _know_ she's here. She has to be here, right? She said she'd be. That's where she said she was going. Maybe she changed her mind. Oh no, what if B is back in Cleveland? Or she found a new hellmouth? I'll have no way of finding her.

I almost gave up right there on the spot. But something inside of me sparked, and kept my hopes alive, if only barely. _If you give up on her, Faith, you don't deserve her. You'll always have to fight for her, every second of every day You waited all this time and now you sit and sniffle on a sidewalk. Get up. Go find her. Don't take any shit._

I began to walk again, hoping to use the tinglies as a homing device. I wandered for a good thirty minutes, but no tinglies came. With every step, I felt a little bit more crazy and a little bit less determined. The plan was perfect in your head back in jail. Sunnydale, Buffy, there weren't many steps. It wasn't hard! But I had so many doubts. Wouldn't she have come back after that 2nd visit? Even once more, it would have been enough. If she loved you, if she actually loved you like she said, wouldn't she have come back? Isn't love supposed to pull you to the love-ee? I had no idea who she was anymore. B had no idea I was here. What if she had moved on and found that new boy toy? What then? I can't just storm in, grab her, and have my way with her. Doesn't work that way Faith. I had no good reason to believe she waited for me. I was so stupid to think so.

I started to lose the battle with myself on the pro-con list building up in my head. I had to just keep walking. Go. Shut down all the thoughts in your head. Focus on finding her, one-step at a time. I turned a corner and the tinglies suddenly got stronger. My stomach did it's vanishing act. I stopped walking and looked around. I needed a second. The stars in the sky looked brilliant. I always loved stars. I remember when I was younger I would lie on my back and entertain myself for hours with thoughts of another planet out there with life. With all of those shiny stars, there had to be one other with life. The earth couldn't be the only planet. There had to be one more. Just one, that's all I'm asking for. I took a deep breath and filled up with the warm-air. I closed my eyes and let everything go.

_If you find her tonight, you'll have one of two scenarios, Faith. One, she will have moved on. You can't do anything about it. Don't even say hi. She's happy. Don't crash her life and ruin it… Two, she's waiting for you. You'll know what to do…_

I exhaled. Pray for two.

My eyes snapped open. _The Bronze_.

Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?! Nobody goes anywhere else in Sunnydale; nothing usually changes… hopefully that's a good sign for me. I run to The Bronze, my hair flying in the wind, arms flailing, eyes scanning for the first sign of it. The tinglies were strong now. I got there in no time.

But something was wrong… this place wasn't The Bronze… my heart sank. It's some new place, it even has an over 21+ si-- Wait. _Oh hey logic. Glad you're back_. Buffy wouldn't go to a high school hang out place in her early twenties! Damn it Faith, you really do lose track of time in the outside world in prison. I got in line and went in.

Luckily for me, this new place had the same layout as the Bronze did. There were too many people to see clearly, but the tinglies had grown stronger when I came in. That means she's here. Somewhere in this building, is Buffy Summers; somewhere in this building, is your future, or the end of it.

I climbed the stairs to the upper balcony level, hoping that if the scoobs were here that they never saw me. They might not know things have changed. I settled, leaning over the edge, peering out over the dance floor and scouting for blondes. My heart leapt a couple times but sank when it wasn't her. It wasn't right. Wasn't perfect. Then I saw what I had been waiting for. I saw her. I saw Buffy Summers.

The expressions of a heart stopping and stomach dropping do not even begin to cover it.

She didn't look any different. Wasn't surprising. Slayers age pretty damn well, if I do say so myself. I saw she was dancing sans-scoobs and almost began practically skipping to the stairs when I saw something else.

A boy. A smiling boy. A smiling boy with a drink. A smiling boy with a drink for Buffy.

Fuck.

I could only watch in horror as the boy continued to talk with her. She smiled back. I'm done with you, Buff Summers. That's it. I should've never ever don't such a stupid thing. _Of course she doesn't love you, Faith._She was looking for an excuse to get you back to Sunnydale. And then I remembered her wording.

-"I _think_ I love you"-

Think. Fuck you, _think_

I slammed my hands down on the balcony railing and turned to leave, ready to rip anyone who so much as walked by me the wrong way apart. I vowed never to come back. I needed to be alone. I ran down the stairs and violently shoved a guy aside that was taking up a little too much stair-space, not caring what happened to him.

Bad idea. Interesting note to self: don't use slayer strength on a guy when you're trying to slip away unnoticed. Guess who noticed?

I continued to make my way down the stairs, with people jumping out of my way as to avoid being destroyed. I was at the foot of the stairs when I heard it; the unmistakable sound of Buffy noticing you.

"Faaaiithhh! Waiiit!"

Out of all the sounds in the club; music, chatting, walking, I could still hear her running towards me. Every step became closer and closer. It didn't take long, she practically left the boy in the dust. I was suddenly face to face with her. I didn't know what to do. Hug her? Brace for a punch? Push her up against a wall and finally do what I'd been waiting to do to her for eight years? No idea. You never know with Buffy. I was frozen.

But she was smiling. Smiling's god right? She couldn't contain the smile for much longer. "I knew you'd come back for me. I _knew_ it."

I just stood there in utter shock. Like that first time I saw her at jail, I couldn't make so much as a sound. She took my silence as a bad sign.

"You… you _did_ come back for me, right? Right? Faith? Because the thing at the jail with the glass an the violence and the whole deep dark secret confession time…" Her smile had completely faded and she looked worried. "But now that you're here not talking and staring and it's making me a little nervous because we never really clarify---"

You have no idea how good it felt to have her babbling and nervous in front of me again. It was the most amazing thing I had heard in years. There was only one more thing to do.

"Shut up, B." I let the smile I'd been holding in erupt. "You're makin' a fool of yourself." And then I kissed her. It was the bravest thing I'd ever done. She tasted like Buffy. There was nothing I could compare it to. No 'hint of vanilla' or 'cinnamon'. It was just Buffy. No comparison.

I was going to let go and see if she was horrified or ok with it, but before I could, I felt her grab my shirt and drag me to her. And do you want to know the best part? She kissed me back. No pulling away in disgust, no punch to the cheekbone to put you back in your place. Just kissing me back with as much force as I was kissing her with. She wrapped her arms around my neck and head and the kiss deepened.

I was completely and totally happy. All the years of hurt looks and hostile glares, and the punches and kicks that I received, all the pain and separation and regret I had ever felt was gone. Everything that was bad in my life meant absolutely nothing. Because after all of that, Ihad her. I had Buffy. And she loved me.

And _that_ was all I ever wanted.

**Fin.**


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